Hello,
You (probably) don’t know me, but my name’s Leanne. I was where you are right now, trying to decide whether to book a screening call for an autism assessment or whether I was making it all up in my head.
It took me 2 years to decide to actually make the booking. If you need more time, that’s okay - you will when the time feels right.
It’s normal to feel scared, overwhelmed, confused, and conflicted about booking in a chat like this. Even more so if you’re neurodivergent, and your brain works differently to ‘most’.
I was scared about what to say, whether I should prepare, whether I’d be judged as attention seeking (especially as I’d learned a lot about autism and ADHD from social media), and of getting into trouble.
It was scary to not know what would happen next, which is why I decided to write you this letter.
My advice is if you’re not sure, book the call. The Autistic Girls team are honestly really, really nice. They are very up to date with knowledge about autism and ADHD in women, and they are incredibly validating.
For me, the screening call alone helped me so much. Here’s what you can expect to happen:
- A 30 minute chat about what led you to book the call
- A validating and safe space to explore your background (it’s ok if you can’t remember all of it!)
- Kindness and empathy from people who will take you seriously, without judgement
- Explanation of what they think you should do next.
This is a call to help decide whether it's worth going ahead with the assessment.
It isn’t the same as an assessment, but the clinician will be able to tell you whether it’s worth paying to have a full assessment.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you are or are not neurodivergent. It’s just an indication of whether your experiences may be likely to meet certain diagnostic criteria.
Autistic Girls have put their own neuro-affirmative twist on this criteria, which is extremely outdated and based largely on young boys. They have expertise in how both autism and ADHD can show up in women and girls, including when they co-occur in the same person (known as ‘AuDHD’).
For example, they will definitely not say that just because you can make eye contact you’re not autistic, or because you’ve passed exams you don’t have ADHD!
They also do not always require evidence from other people in your life as part of this process, as they recognise we may have challenges in memory, and we may have masked our symptoms from a young age.
Here’s some advice that might be helpful:
- Ensure that you book the call on a day when you don’t have too much on, so you can give this the time it deserves. It might be an emotional experience.
- Talk to someone you trust about this decision. They may even be able to join the call with you.
- When talking to someone about this, prepare them in advance, and explain how important their reaction is to you. Telling them what you need from them (unconditional acceptance and support), and what isn’t helpful (doubts or judgement), can be really useful.
- Consider what will make this the best experience possible for you, and advocate for your needs. For example, if you'd like an agenda beforehand, you could email the assessor to ask for one.
- Think about what your ideal outcome is from this conversation. How would a diagnosis change your life?
- Identify key moments that led to this decision, such as experiencing a meltdown or having an argument with friends.
- Consider working with an autism or ADHD coach or therapist to help you to work through this process - self-identification is valid, and you deserve support either way.
- Be kind to yourself - seeking support in any form is a really brave thing to do.
I’d also strongly recommend getting a journal and documenting your thoughts and experiences. It can be really useful to process this as you go, especially after the call when you may be feeling overwhelmed.
Remember that you are not alone - there’s lots of support out there and the best thing you can do is learn about the way your brain works, because this will be unique to you.
Good luck!
Leanne Maskell - ADHD Works
Author of ADHD: an A to Z
Hello,
You (probably) don’t know me, but my name’s Leanne. I was where you are right now, trying to decide whether to book a screening call for an autism assessment or whether I was making it all up in my head.
It took me 2 years to decide to actually make the booking. If you need more time, that’s okay - you will when the time feels right.
It’s normal to feel scared, overwhelmed, confused, and conflicted about booking in a chat like this. Even more so if you’re neurodivergent, and your brain works differently to ‘most’.
I was scared about what to say, whether I should prepare, whether I’d be judged as attention seeking (especially as I’d learned a lot about autism and ADHD from social media), and of getting into trouble.
It was scary to not know what would happen next, which is why I decided to write you this letter.
My advice is if you’re not sure, book the call. The Autistic Girls team are honestly really, really nice. They are very up to date with knowledge about autism and ADHD in women, and they are incredibly validating.
For me, the screening call alone helped me so much. Here’s what you can expect to happen:
- A 30 minute chat about what led you to book the call
- A validating and safe space to explore your background (it’s ok if you can’t remember all of it!)
- Kindness and empathy from people who will take you seriously, without judgement
- Explanation of what they think you should do next.
This is a call to help decide whether it's worth going ahead with the assessment.
It isn’t the same as an assessment, but the clinician will be able to tell you whether it’s worth paying to have a full assessment.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you are or are not neurodivergent. It’s just an indication of whether your experiences may be likely to meet certain diagnostic criteria.
Autistic Girls have put their own neuro-affirmative twist on this criteria, which is extremely outdated and based largely on young boys. They have expertise in how both autism and ADHD can show up in women and girls, including when they co-occur in the same person (known as ‘AuDHD’).
For example, they will definitely not say that just because you can make eye contact you’re not autistic, or because you’ve passed exams you don’t have ADHD!
They also do not always require evidence from other people in your life as part of this process, as they recognise we may have challenges in memory, and we may have masked our symptoms from a young age.
Here’s some advice that might be helpful:
- Ensure that you book the call on a day when you don’t have too much on, so you can give this the time it deserves. It might be an emotional experience.
- Talk to someone you trust about this decision. They may even be able to join the call with you.
- When talking to someone about this, prepare them in advance, and explain how important their reaction is to you. Telling them what you need from them (unconditional acceptance and support), and what isn’t helpful (doubts or judgement), can be really useful.
- Consider what will make this the best experience possible for you, and advocate for your needs. For example, if you'd like an agenda beforehand, you could email the assessor to ask for one.
- Think about what your ideal outcome is from this conversation. How would a diagnosis change your life?
- Identify key moments that led to this decision, such as experiencing a meltdown or having an argument with friends.
- Consider working with an autism or ADHD coach or therapist to help you to work through this process - self-identification is valid, and you deserve support either way.
- Be kind to yourself - seeking support in any form is a really brave thing to do.
I’d also strongly recommend getting a journal and documenting your thoughts and experiences. It can be really useful to process this as you go, especially after the call when you may be feeling overwhelmed.
Remember that you are not alone - there’s lots of support out there and the best thing you can do is learn about the way your brain works, because this will be unique to you.
Good luck!
Leanne Maskell - ADHD Works
Author of ADHD: an A to Z